The Rhythm of The West by Kay Cordell Whitaker

There was once, a long time past, a large, strong woman who lived high in the mountains. One day when she was walking to her hut in the fields, a group of bandits attacked her village. Many of her people are killed or injured. Struggling to run as hard as she can, she gets very close to her home. She hopes maybe she can still save her children. But storming out of her hut come four men. One carries the head of her husband. And she sees through her broken walls the dead bodies of her son and daughter.

She gets crazy in the head and jumps screaming and scratching at those men. They laugh and beat her. Then, far from the village, they leave her to die in a rocky cave on the mountain side.

When she comes awake again, it is nighttime, and the sky is full of rain and thunder and lightning. She is very afraid and does not know where she is. She moves deeper into the cave. Then the memory of her mate and her children fill her mind. She screams and cries and beats her head on the ground all the night. Her life is now worthless. Why was she not at the hut in time to save them? There must have been some way to stop them. She swells up with great shame and failure. What will become of her? Will the bandits return to kill her? Or will she have to live all her days in grief and shame?

She can’t stop thinking these things and sobbing. There is no sleep for her. Several days pass, but she does not notice. Finally she hopes it is safe enough to leave the cave. But it is kind of dark. She wanders down many passages, but cannot find a way out. After much walking, she comes to a large chamber with cracks in the ceiling. Light leaks through there and shines down on a little hidden lake. There lives, she can see, a lot of little fish in this lake. So by now she has gotten a great thirst and hunger and jumps in the water to wash and drink and catch fish to eat. The water feels good to her body and refreshes her. Now maybe she will survive another day.

When she has had enough to eat and drink she lay down on the sand and slept until the next Sun. Then she searched the chamber to find another way out. But there is none. Just the small shaft she entered by. She is afraid to go back through. Maybe she will get badly lost again in the maze and die of thirst in the dark. This is why she thinks to stay in the large chamber by the lake another day and hunt for a way out in there. The little passage will wait till tomorrow.

As the Sun gets high in the sky it comes through the cracks down onto the lake. She steps to the water again, to catch a fish, and sees her image. It reminds her of her lost babies and mate, and her anger and grief and guilt swell again. She screams and wails. How could things be so wrong? Why didn’t she save her family? She did not understand. She thinks she is the worst kind of being. She let them down. She let her village down. Now she wanted to die too. She did not deserve to live. But she was too afraid to let herself die.

Her sorrow and despair devour her. She does not leave the large cavern. She has nothing to live for and grows to hate her people back home who have their families and village. Why she thinks, should they have happiness when hers has been torn away? Why should they have people to be with when she has none? Where were they when her babies were murdered? Why did they not stop it? She decided they were more to blame than her. Why did they not come and hunt for her? How dare they abandon her after the many things she does for them. Her mother was the medicine woman, and someday she would be too, and take her mother’s place on the council. What do those people think they are going to do without her, and her daughter to follow after her? They will get their just reward, she thought. They will regret the day of massacre more than she did.

The days and moons come and go and come and go and still she has not left the big cavern. Sometimes now she is filled with remembering of the laughter of her children when they played in the Sun. And the smile of her mate when he touched her. Then her joy turns to great sadness for the loss of it forever.

Slowly, through the days, the joyful memories grow, and the sadness grows smaller. She starts to wonder about her people, how they are doing. If her mother lives still. She feels for them and is no longer able to blame them for her tragedy. She can see that life just moves on and they must have their own pains to carry.

One day, when looking in the water at herself, she thinks back on the day of the attack. Then things become clear to her. She sees that there was truly nothing she could do to stop the killing and the burning, and no way for her to know of it beforehand. She was not to blame. She did what she could. Now she must do her best to stay alive and hunt for a passage out.

She decides to catch a bunch of fish to carry with her while she hikes out of the cavern to the many passages. And she takes many old fish bones to scatter behind her as she walks so she can return to the lake as she needs.

For many days, she does this searching, making a trail with the bones. But no opening does she find. So she returns to the lake.

One day, while she catches fish for her hunt and remembers the pleasure of her loved ones, she realizes how much she loves living. How good it feels to feel life inside her flesh. She sees her image in the water and thinks, you, myself are my closest of friends. And she is satisfied.

Eventually she tracked every passage and could find no opening. Perhaps it fell in on itself, she says. But there must be a way out. She is stubborn, this woman. She thinks maybe she can make a way out and decides to climb up to the ceiling to make bigger the crack.

She bangs at this crack for days upon days, breaking away the rock. The cave walls cut and bruise her. She falls to the floor but still goes back to break the hole wider. The life in her she thought, is dancing and free, even in her tragedy.

One morning, when she is up in the crevice, she sees this light coming from under the water, deep inside the lake. It is the Sun that must be shining down a cavern in the lake. It is bright and probably very close to the outside.

So right then, down she dives. Straight to the light place, and swims hard against the current, and goes up and out into the Sun.

What a joy! She is out! She is in the lake that is at the edge of her village and many of her people are there washing and swimming. She catches her breath and yells with excitement.

Everyone sees her. They cannot believe it. She just appeared from nowhere, they think. From the dead. They all shout and rush to greet her. How happy everyone is to see each other again.